What could be more American than cheap, Chinese-made goods from the Dollar Store?

At some point last Winter, I came across some Navy-themed, three dimensional stickers in the scrapbooking section of my local dollar store.  They were bizarre and hilarious.  Along with what appeared to be poor digital scans of a destroyer and a Navy jet, there were a few teeny gold stars, an insignia patch of one specific Marine unit, some nautical details like an olde-tymey tiller wheel and, best of all, this awkward-looking moustachioed sailor wearing camouflage.  I didn't know what I'd do with them - I don't scrapbook - but, for a dollar, they were too delightful to pass up.

My brother's been doing a "joint command" tour (i.e. he's a Navy guy working for the Army - I could be mis-naming it) in Iraq for some months and I've been receiving his mail and forwarding it on in batches.  As a matter of principle I like to include something personal along with all the pre-approved credit card applications, but he's made it clear that baked goods, assuming they survive, are largely superfluous, and he doesn't want to get loaded down in Stuff - which I totally understand.  So, thanks to the USPS's one-rate priority mailer boxes, I've been packing in assorted random candy - once it was a huge stash of Pixie Stix, another time it was three pounds of Abba Zabbas. I figure those won't go bad, and he and his buds can pass them on to local kids if they don't want them themselves.  Actually, the biggest hit was the cigars my dad gave him for Christmas...and his only actual request has been for Clif Bars (to replace MREs).  (I'm a big fan lately of Nectar bars - all organic - and Lara bars - raw - so I've included some of those as a teaser.)

Anyway, in the spirit of "using things up," I realized I could make note cards out of the stickers.  They started out simple and classy (I mean, relatively speaking),

 

 

but quickly devolved into third-grade level experiments in paint, cotton balls and glitter. 

I think the latter are funnier.  Which do you prefer?

I sent him the destroyer one first, hoping that he will be primed to find these hilarious, and not mistake them for pathetic, sincere attempts to be precious and artistic. 

I'm saving our moustachioed friend for last.

 

Comments

[Vaguely Urban]

The glittery destroyer is the best. Though M's going to have to be quick to disclose that the cards are from his baby sister. Facially, they are a violation of don't ask/don't tell.

[Vaguely Urban]

Text time you come, instead of Pub Crawl, we shall have Craft Corner Death Match.

[Wickedly Scarlett]

Oh my God, the plane and glittery destroyer made me laugh out loud! I see a gift card line in your future!