We have a neighbor in the Wine Industry, and over the course of a couple of shared dinners he has expressed in no uncertain terms his disappointment with our expressed drinking preferences.
Namely, Two Buck Chuck. (Even though we've been neighbors since February, it was not until a week and a half ago it occurred to us, when a friend pointed it out, that some of his irritation with the brand may stem from the fact that his partner's name is, in fact, "Chuck.") I think Charles Shaw bugs him particularly, not because it's cheap per se, but because he gets all worked up about Fred Franzia.
On account of this neighbor, I've been thoughtfully upgrading our cellar to a fine selection of $3 and $4 wines. Maybe for the holidays we'll splurge and get a box.
At one dinner party, we put our neighbor to work and had him go through the twenty-some bottles racked in our bar and put a sticky note on all the ones that were "decent." He stickered four or five, murmuring to himself things like, "How did this get in here?"
We now know which ones are too good for us to drink.
But he's also very informative. If I took better notes, I could tell you about this and that vintner or region in France or guy in Yugoslavia who's really up and coming. But usually half my mind is occupied, stressing over how purple my teeth are turning and ensuring that no one says anything funny.
One tip I can share with you is this: Decant! Decant!
I think he said that any wine is better if you decant it. I thought decanting was just about separating out the sludge in the fancy stuff, but he emphasized more the letting it breathe and blah de blah. Fine wines oxidize and round out and whatever it is that wines do when they get uncorked; and even cheap wines are, at least, better. He said you don't need a fancy decanter; even just pouring it into a pitcher (and returning it to the bottle with a funnel if you're embarrassed of your pitcher) before serving is a good idea.
After one dinner, Ace summarized our neighbor's wisdom: "Don't drink Charles Shaw. But if you do, at least decant it."
So Sunday, after Ace and I visited him at the wine store, wandered around aimlessly like we knew anything about the dusty racks we were looking at (there was a Methuselah for $1,500 that made us both take a step back and Ace ask a question about earthquakes), got home and accepted the fact we wouldn't be able to play tennis in the dark, I went over to Bed, Bath and Beyond to return a picture and see what I could do about a decanter.
I stood in the cheapie wine paraphernalia section for half an hour. (Actually, I sat on the floor, unwrapping and repacking boxes - again and again and again.) They had only two decanters, one was $20 and one was $30. Easy? Not so easy. The $30 was heavy and thick and solid-feeling. The $20 was lightweight, without a flat bottom, so had to perch in a little glass saucer that came with it, but also came with four mug-style wine glasses.
I've been trying to make an effort to buy things seldom, but when I do, to buy quality things that I won't have to replace down the road. Easy? Still not easy.
The more expensive, solid one seemed kind of clunky and difficult to pour. The cheaper, thinner one...well, I didn't need the glasses, though they were rounder than the teeny glasses we already have (50c apiece from Ikea's 'As Is' section) and, stemless, were kind of trendy. But check it - despite not having stems, they didn't have flat bottoms, either, so when you put them down they kind of roll around, like tops.
So then I stared at the words on the box, and the shelf signage, and the heavier one said that it was crystal, and the signage said that crystal meant it had lead in it. (If you go to the link, the $30 says it's machine-blown and lead free - as did a sign on the shelf, but the box said it was mouth-blown and crystal, so I trusted the box.) The cheaper one didn't say anything about crystal, so I assume it's ordinary glass. (Also? Wow, there are way more options online.)
The floor guy came by and asked whether I needed help, and I inquired whether these were their only decanters, and whether the swirling glasses would drive someone crazy and whether he had any input. Yes they were, and didn't know, and he thought the $30 one was pretty popular - nobody had ever returned one.
But then, he said, just get either one and try it out, and return it if you don't like it.
"Return it after I've used it?"
"Yup. You can return it even if it's chipped. We have a really great return policy."
I remember growing up, my parents were always careful not to leave wine in a crystal decanter even overnight because of possible lead leaching, so that's kind of ingrained into me. Since Ace and I never can finish a bottle of wine in one go, I got the cheaper, glass one. (Not before wandering over to the Wedding section, where they actually had a much broader selection of decanters I hadn't seen before, shaped like ducks and whatnot, ranging from $150 to $500, and definitely leaded.)
Oh, and when I checked out, the $20 was marked down to $16.
We heated up leftover pizza and Indian food, and decanted a bottle our neighbor had recommended earlier that day. Bordeaux, was it?
And waited for the magic transformation of our $15 bottle of wine into a $300 bottle of wine.
Verdict?
Well...it smelled really great. But it tasted...shrug.
We know so little about wine, we're in no position to judge whether we improved it or not, or even whether we would have liked the wine straight from the bottle with a straw. So for the true test, later this week, we're going to have to decant a bottle of the good stuff.
Oh yeah. And we chipped it already.
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